IF CATS AND DOGS…

 

Does a Scots cat meow with a thick highland burr?

Or is it an international purr?

Would a Siamese cat understand what he heard?

Or would a wise fluffy Persian translate every word?

 

If a Turkish and Tabby were caught up tree

Could they ask for some help from a passing Burmese?

Is it the same all over the place?

Would dogs find it hard to talk with their race?

 

An Alsatian, I guess, would talk in Alsace,

That a Dachshund or Schnauzer would find rather crass.

Though a Wolfhound and Bloodhound would struggle a bit,

They’d get through the day with a bit of dog grit.

 

Which brings me, quite nicely, to the dog of the Queen,

The little welsh Corgi, not that often seen.

Does it bark to the tune of the valleys of Wales?

Or just get by with a wag of its tail?

 

The old English Sheepdog with its gravelly sound

Must surely not grasp the cool Afghan hound.

And Chihuahuas can never be quite in the frame

‘Cause not many people can utter their name.

 

Then the cows and insects are in the same boat,

Along with the deer, the sheep and the goats,

The pigs and the horses, the birds and the fish,

So many tongues thrown into the dish.

 

But the strangest of all, I’m sure you agree,

Is the glottal produce of humanity.

Be you Frenchman or Chinese, German or Brit,

You’ll never go short of a way to transmit.

 

We can talk to the dogs, the cats and the sheep,

Like Dr Dolittle or Little Bo Peep,

You can walk into China, Wales or Dubai,

And manage to talk with no more than a smile.

 

So dogs can bark and the cats can meow,

While the sheep bleat away to a dumbfounded cow.

But none of those creatures, however they try,

Can outfox a man with the wink of an eye.